HURLEY

This not a joke. You’re looking at the cover art for Weezer’s new album, Hurley.

WTF PRODUCT OF THE DAY: DRESS DOUBLES AS A CELL PHONE

CLICK HERE TO SEE

A company called CuteCircuit has created a dress that also doubles as a mobile phone. Due out in 2011, the M-Dress has an antenna in the hem and a microphone in the sleeve (how very CIA). Now, if you will kindly excuse me, my dress is ringing.

LADY FLIPS OUT AT DRIVE THROUGH

CLICK HERE TO SEE IT

Holy crap this lady has some serious McNugget anger issues

THINK YOUR GUY IS CHEATING 5 ways TO FIND OUT IF HE IS!!

Think your guy is cheating, but you’re not sure? If your man is being unfaithful, that’s certainly bad news, but the good news is, there are plenty of new ways to catch him red-handed. Cheating is never a fun issue to deal with, but if you have suspicions, you need to find out the truth. From GPS to STD testing, here are 5 new ways to bust someone two-timin’ you.

1. Register your relationship: CheaterAlert.com is an innovative anonymous and free site which enables members to find out if their lover is faithful, check on potential partners, share stories, and inform friends about deception. Those who are suspicious of their partners are encouraged to join, as well as those who are in healthy relationships who can offer advice.

2. GPS Device: He said he’s going surfing with the guys, but ends up somehow at a romantic restaurant. Your man may lie, but a GPS device always tells the truth. Trackingtheworld.com sells a variety of tracking devices and also has useful information on how to choose the right one for you.

3. Follow their online activity: Maybe he says he’s working, but there is plenty of new and innovative software that can tell you exactly where he’s been. Just because he is at home, doesn’t mean he’s not stepping out on you. Catchcheaters.com provides useful information on catching a cheater, and sells software such as PC Pandora which records computer activity, including online activity that a cheater typically tries to hide - even records snapshots of what’s on the screen.

4. Online affair sites: There are several online dating sites that specialize in cheating relationships. Ashleymadison.com and Friendfinder.com are both sites that promote discreet affairs. If your man is already on one of these sites, that in itself is already a problem. If you want to confirm he is cheating then log on, make a fake profile, and see if he takes the bait.

5. STD Test: Besides a broken heart, a cheating partner can leave you with a sexually transmitted disease. The emotional part of cheating is difficult, but your health should always be your first priority. STDTestExpress.com provides private testing and is also a unique resource on STD information.

EMAIL OF THE SHOW!!!

MY BOYFRIEND’S KIDS ARE DRIVING ME NUTS AND I’M STARTING TO RESENT THEM!

I mean it’s great that they love me and accept me in their lives and all but I’m starting to resent them. Usually, I spend most of my time trying to make them happy, but now that they are here all the time I want to scream. Also, it puts a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend because he’s so easy-going with them that I feel like the bad guy all the time.

My biggest dilemma with this situation is I thought I had always wanted a baby of my own, especially after meeting them. But now my boyfriend keeps bringing up the fact that maybe I’m not the right person to have kids if I complain about them. I’m so torn! I have even considered breaking up with him — despite thinking I’d marry him — just because of the this kid issue. Is he right? Am I not the right person to have kids? Or maybe it’s just his kids? Or maybe I don’t like the way he parents and I should break up with him? Help!”

email us fonseca@fonsecashow.com

FONSECA SHOW

Hit by Truck

He who dances into street gets hit by ice cream truck. wtf???

ANGELINA BOOED

Jersey Shore cast member Angelina showed-up at a New Jersey festival over the weekend and was given a…fitting…welcome.

FONSECA WIERD  STUFF

WOMEN NEED TO TONE DOWN THEIR LOOK WHEN APPLYING FOR “MASCULINE” JOBS

Thinking about buying a sexy new outfit to up your chances at scoring a new job? If you’re a woman applying to be, say, a tow truck driver, you may want to think again. A new study shows that attractive women are actually less likely to be hired to fill positions that are seen as “masculine.” When it comes to jobs like prison guard, security director, and hardware salesperson, “being attractive was highly detrimental to women,” the lead researcher said.

However, attractive women were still favored in “feminine” jobs, and attractive people still tend to get higher salaries and better evaluations, according to the study published in the Journal of Social Psychology. Good news, men: If you’re attractive, you always have an advantage…”which shows that there is still a double standard when it comes to gender,” said the lead researcher. – Much more info in the link below.

FORGET SPORTS CARS AND YOUNG TWINKIES – MEN ARE NOW TURNING TO BICYCLES DURING THEIR MIDLIFE CRISIS

Buying a flashy sports car has long been held as a tell-tale sign that a guy is speeding towards a mid-life crisis. And now it seems even investing in a rather more calm form of transportation - a bicycle - could do too. Rising numbers of affluent men aged 35 to 45 are turning to pedal power in a bid to project a free-wheeling image, according to research.

And if you thought spokes and chains don’t have quite the same allure as turbo chargers and sun roofs, then think again. While a bike lacks the looks of a Porsche or a Ferrari, it can send out the message that its rider has the appealing qualities of being fit, rugged and loving the planet. A report by market researchers Mintel found that there was a boom in bike sales last year, with the biggest growth among men approaching middle age.

Overall, more men than women own a bike – and more than half of men aged 35 to 44 have one, the study shows. Psychologist Cliff Arnall said, “With a bike, it’s all about fitness, strength and stamina. But in some ways a top of the range bicycle says many of the same things about you as a sports car – they both have a rugged, dangerous element to them.”

He added that a bike might also appeal to a man undergoing a mid-life crisis because it gives him an opportunity to spend time by himself and contemplate. Mintel revealed that 3.2million bikes were sold in 2009 and predicts this will increase to 4million by 2015.

After two years of marriage, Portia De Rossi filed a petition in L.A. Superior Court on Friday to legally change her name to match her wife, Ellen Degeneres. The official document reads: ‘Petitioner is taking the last name of her spouse.’ Ellen and Portia exchanged vows in front of on thirty guests at their Beverly Hills estate almost exactly two years ago next week. They began dating back in December of 2004.

JESSE JAMES HAS SOMEONE FOLLOWING HIM TOO

Jesse James is moving to Austin, Texas with his daughter Sunny to be closer to his soon-to-be-ex-wife Sandra Bullock – and now Jesse’s first ex-wife, former porn star Janine Lindemulder, is tagging along as well. In addition to having her $50,000 in attorney fees paid for her, Janine will receive $3,000 per month from Jesse in child support and will get to have Sunny on the weekends. Sources still say that Sandra wants nothing to do with Jesse.

MEL GIBSON’S DAD PROVES THE APPLE FALLS CLOSE TO THE TREE

Mel Gibson’s father, Hutton, said recently that the Catholic Church ‘is full of all these child molesters and that is all there is too it’. He also stands by his statements that the Holocaust never happened and added that the Catholic’s aren’t fighting Prop 8 because ‘half of the people in the Vatican are queer’ and are ‘trying to destroy the church. He also thinks that the Pope is a homosexual, calling him a ‘slippery character’ that did nothing to stop child sexual abuse.

JIMMY JOHNSON TALKS ABOUT BEING ON SURVIVOR

Some eyebrows were raised when legendary football coach Jimmy Johnson was announced as a contestant on the upcoming Survivor: Nicaragua. Apparently those people underestimated Jimmy, because this was the third time he tried out for the show, after previously being rejected twice. The last time was because of arterial blockage discovered during a medical examination for the show. Jimmy immediately had a stent put in place and says ‘In some ways Survivor might have saved my life.’ The new season comes to CBS this fall.

FANTASTIA BARRINO ‘NOT RESPONSIBLE’ FOR BREAKING UP COUPLE

Former American Idol champion Fantasia Barrino says that she is ‘not responsible’ for breaking up a marriage, even though a North Carolina woman named Paula Cook claims that Fantasia made sex tapes with her husband. Fantasia’s manager insists that the singer is not responsible for breaking-up the marriage and that Cook included references to Fantasia in her court documents to generate publicity. The couple also has children together.

MEL GIBSON CASE TO BE HANDED OVER TO PROSECUTERS

A spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sherriff’s Department told TMZ yesterday that the department is nearing the end of its investigation into Mel Gibson for crimes including: domestic violence, assault with a deadly weapon, and child endangerment. They will then hand the case over to the District Attorney’s office, who will ultimately decided whether or not to prosecute Mel. The spokesman says that the DA has been involved with the case from the beginning, so there shouldn’t be any surprises and a decision should be made relatively quickly.

LEVI JOHNSTON STILL CLAWING TO PUBLIC LIFE

CHARLIE SHEEN REALLY DID GET AWAY WITH SOMETHING

New documents related to Charlie Sheen’s alleged assault on Brooke Mueller last Christmas indicate that the incident may not have been the first time the couple’s relationship got physical. Brooke claims that she feared for her life at times, and that in a separate incident before the one last Christmas, Charlie grabbed her by the wrist and caused her to hit her head on a piece of furniture, requiring medical attention. She did not report that incident to police, and Charlie claimed it was an accident. He’s also rumored to be on medication to control his drinking.

TIDBITS OF GOSSIP I DON’T CARE ABOUT

• J-WOWW has filed a police report claiming that items are missing from the home she shared with ex-boyfriend Tom Lippolis.
• Van Halen is in the studio recording a new album with David Lee Roth.
• Sephora has decided to press shoplifting charges against Rudy Giuliani’s daughter Caroline after being criticized for taking it easy on a child of privilege.
• Charlie Sheen celebrated dodging jail by partying at the Playboy Mansion clad in a red silk and paisley robe. He was allegedly covered in women all night.
• Jane Lynch will host SNL on October 9^th in the show’s 36^th season.
• Lady GaGa’s rep denies that the pop star has any interest in a film career.
• Justin Bieber has become the newest celebrity to endorse the Proactiv acne system. He says: ‘I’m definitely someone who suffers from acne. I’m a teenage boy!’
• Sixty-five-year-old Rod Stewart is expecting his second child with his thirty-nine-year-old wife Penny Lancaster. The two already have a four-year-old son.
• Despite all the deals that she reportedly has in the works, Sarah Ferguson is still more than $8 million debt and is being encouraged to declare bankruptcy.
• M.I.A. had to end a show early when hundreds of fans rushed the stage during her performance at the Big Chill Festival in the U.K. on Saturday.
• Nicole Scherzinger is on the shortlist for a judge’s chair when Simon Cowell brings The X-Factor to the U.S. later this year.
• Quantum Leap will reportedly come to the big screen, but without Scott Bakula.
• Brody Jenner has shaved the letter ‘A’ in his head as a tribute to his girlfriend, Canadian pop-rock girl Avril Lavigne.

YOGI BEAR COUNTRY

A few hotheads are all riled up over the ‘sexual’ tagline on the Yogi Bear movie poster.

SHILOH JOLIE-PITT CAUSING CONTROVERSY WITH HER SWIM SUIT ATTIRE

The gender police is back on Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, most recently because Us Weekly published photos of the four-year-old swimming ( in Berkeley, CA last week) in boys’ swim trunks. But the fact that she’s not wearing a top is raising a whole different set of questions and controversy. Thoughts? Check it out below.

PRODUCT OF THE DAY: WATCH YOUR DECEASED LOVED ONES ON YOUR CELL PHONE

A Pennsylvania company says its “Memory Medallion” product for tombstones allows cellphone users to access text, video and Web sites about the deceased. The standard package sells for $225, giving the purchaser a barcode-marked medallion for the tombstone that directs cellphones to a Web site containing eight pictures, a printed biography and a 1,000-word story. Smart phone users can use the barcodes to access videos made by the family of the deceased. The company sold about 5,000 of the products last year, which was a major increase from the 50 sold in the first year of Memory Medallion’s operation, 2001.

MOST MISSPELLED WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Separate” is the most common misspelled word in the English language.

MAN WANTS TO BECOME FAMOUS, SO HE JUMPS IN FRONT OF A TRAIN

Chinese man was arrested for video tapping himself jumping in front of a train. It wasn’t a suicide attempt - he did it in hopes of becoming famous. See the video below.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE STORY

EMAIL OF THE DAY

HOW CAN I FIND A WEALTHY WOMAN WHO WILL PAY ME FOR MY TIME?

FONSECA TV

DO I RUN AFTER THEM?

Deer kidnaps man’s wife. Seriously, see for yourself.

DUCK FICTION

It’s Pulp Fiction so it’s cool, but it has Donald Duck’s voice so it’s funny

LOOK-A-LIKES

Eleven Fictional Characters Spotted In Real Life. Go with me on this one, it’s pretty funny.

CLICK HERE

FONSECA WIERD STUFF

AMERICA’S FAVORITE SNACK IS RITZ CRACKER

Americans who can afford brand-name snacks have a clear-cut favorite, a new survey reveals: Ritz crackers. “Butter and salt is a pretty good combination for most Americans and most anybody,” an exec with the survey firm said. Wheat Thins finished second and Orville Redenbacher popcorn third. Surprisingly, potato chips didn’t make the top 10 - because particular brands have trouble differentiating themselves from competitors. Here are the top 10 snack favorites:

The top 10:

1. Ritz

2. Wheat Thins

3. Orville Redenbacher (popcorn)

4. Snyder’s (pretzels)

5. Rold Gold (pretzels)

6. Triscuit

7. Doritos

8. Fritos

9. Sunchips

10. Cheetos

WORDS REJECTED BY THE OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY

“Wurfing” means surfing the internet at work, while “polkadodge” describes the strange dance two passing people do when they try to avoid each other but move in the same direction (aka, the shopping cart dance at the grocery store), and “furgling” means the act of fumbling in your pocket for keys or loose change.

These words were submitted for use in the Oxford Dictionary but will only be included once they become a part of everyday usage. Other notable words are “dringle”, which is the watermark left by a glass of liquid, and “earworm”, a catchy tune that frequently gets stuck in your head. Here are other non-words that didn’t make the cut:

• Asphinxiation – being sick to death of unanswerable puzzles or riddles
• Blogish – a variety of English that uses a large number of initialisms, frequently used on blogs
• Earworm – a catchy tune that frequently gets stuck in your head
• Espacular – something especially spectacular
• Fumb – your large toe
• Lexpionage – the sleuthing of words and phrases
• Nonversation – a worthless conversation, wherein nothing is explained or otherwise elaborated upon
• Oninate – to overwhelm with post-dining breath
• Stealth-geek – someone who hides their nerdy interests while maintaining a normal outward appearance
• Vidiot – someone who is inept at the act of programming video recording equipment
• Wibble – the trembling of the lower lip just shy of actually crying
• Wurfing – the act of surfing the Internet while at work
• Wikism – a piece of information that claims to be true but is wildly inaccurate

SCIENCE SAYS THAT WOMEN DRESS SEXIER WHEN OVULATING

Ladies, we now have one more thing you can blame on hormones emitted during your menstrual cycle - sexy clothing choices. A new study from the University of Minnesota Carlson School of Management finds that during ovulation, women “dress to impress” and buy sexier clothing. Apparently, it’s an unconscious choice, but women are trying to look sexier than other nearby women so that men will notice them. Finally, an explanation for why you bought that embarrassingly tight, skanky jersey dress from American Apparel and why it seems like a good idea to wear it about once a month.

How did the researchers discover this? They had a group of ovulating women look at a series of pictures of “attractive, local women” and also at pictures of less attractive women who lived farther away and then had them choose clothing to wear afterwards; the ones who looked at the hot, local ladies then chose to wear much sexier outfits than those who didn’t.

What is more interesting about the study, perhaps, is that researchers think this could have “practical implications for marketers.” What, are retailers going to require you to give out your menstrual cycle info along with your zip code now upon checkout? Will the Victoria’s Secret website ask you for your ovulation day when you make a purchase and then send you a catalog on the day your eggs drop? I mean really, how can marketers actually use this info?

Will Ferrell had his second biggest opening weekend ever as The Other Guys, his new comedy co-starring Mark Wahlberg, opened with a better-than-expected $35.6 million dollars. Great reviews and strong marketing helped the film find its way to audiences who were craving something lighthearted. Inception continued its impressive run, only slipping to second place with $18.6 million, bringing its total to well over $200 million dollars in just over three weeks. Step-Up 3D was third with Salt and Dinner For Schmucks filling out the top five. Next weekend is a big one with The Expendables, Scott Pilgrim vs The World and Eat, Pray, Love all opening.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE TO VOICE GAY CHARACTER ON ‘THE CLEVELAND SHOW’

Justin Timberlake will voice two characters for an episode of The Cleveland Show during its new season, one of which will be the boyfriend of Terry (voiced by SNL and 30 Rock star Jason Sudeikis). The other character is a singing booger. The show’s creators are already praising Justin’s work, calling him ‘hysterical.’ As he continues to work on his acting chops he’s filming a movie with Mila Kunis in New York and can soon be seen in David Fincher’s film about Facebook, called The Social Network, playing Napster co-founder Sean Parker.

KIMORA LEE SIMMONS HAS A YARD SALE

Dozens of shoppers and fans turned out to Kimora Lee Simmons’ four-acre estate in Saddle River, New Jersey over the weekend to browse her yard sale. Lee says she never expected the event to be such a success and talked about the excitement of watching people find the perfect item. Though the sale included plenty of items priced for the average person, also up for grabs were a $200,000 Versace bed, several $50,000 rugs, and $10,000 tables. The mansion sold last month, and Kimora plans to donate the proceeds from the sale to the YWCA and related charities. The whole thing was filmed for her reality show, Kimora: Life In The Fab Lane.

SNOOKI PROMISES TO CUT BACK ON THE BOOZE

Snooki has been trying to downplay her arrest for disorderly conduct last week, but admits that the incident and her father’s reaction have made her cut back on the drinking. She says her dad was ‘very, very pissed’ and told her ‘I didn’t raise you like this.’ Now she says she’s going to stop drinking in the daytime and only have a few drinks when she goes out at night. She also says that she needs to calm down with the drinking because she doesn’t want to embarrass her family. Asked about the upcoming court appearance for her arrest, Snooki says: ‘I’m not a criminal. It’s just a drunken mistake.’

ROBBIE WILLIAMS GETS MARRIED

British pop music superstar Robbie Williams married actress Ayda Field in an intimate ceremony at Robbie’s home in Beverly Hills on Saturday. Thirty-six-year-old Robbie and thirty-one-year-old Ayda exchanged vows in front of about seventy-five friends and family during a thirty-minute ceremony. Everyone then enjoyed a sunset cocktail reception with champagne and gourmet hors d’oeuvre. Robbie’s father told the British press: ‘At last, Rob is happy. That’s what you want for your kids and this is the happiest I’ve seen him. Ayda is so beautiful and so delightful and so lovely and just so right for him. They are brilliant together.’

MONTANA FISHBURNE ARRESTED FOR PROSTITUTION LAST YEAR

Court records show that Montana Fishburne was arrested last year for alleged prostitution and only managed to avoid jail by signing-up for a work-alternative program. She was sentenced to two years’ probation and fifteen days in jail, but was able to do community service instead of jail. As part of her probation Montana was ordered not to charge money for sex, have sex in public places, hitchhike, or loiter in alleys with the purpose of charging for sex. The nineteen-year-old was also ordered to complete an AIDS-education class and get an AIDS test. Maybe porn is a step up.

MEL AND OKSANA BOTH CLEARED BY CHILD SERVICES

After accusing each other of child abuse during their ongoing custody battle, Child Protective Services has reportedly determined that both Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva will be cleared. A source says that the agency will be keeping a close eye on the couple, and they still have a few people to interview, but that barring any huge bombshells the investigation will be closed. But that doesn’t mean that Mel has been cleared of domestic violence, and it certainly doesn’t solve their ongoing custody dispute over baby daughter Lucia

TIBITS OF GOSSIP I DON’T CARE ABOUT

• Sandra Bullock showed up last night to accept her Teen Choice Award for The Blind Side.
• Actress Patricia Neal died yesterday at the age of 84. She won an Oscar in 1963 for Hud.
• Lady GaGa headlined Lollapalooza in Chicago over the weekend after bombing on a side stage only three years ago.
• Former Americal Idol star Fantasia Barrino has been named in court documents as having had an affair with a married man, and there’s a sex tape to prove it.
• Jay-Z will release a memoir called Decoded that will include interviews with friends and family as well as detailed discussions of his lyrics.
• Rachel Uchitel went right from Celebrity Rehab into real rehab, checking into a facility in Malibu to work on her drinking, smoking, and pill popping.
• Mel Gibson missed a deposition in his custody case this week because he took two of his son’s fishing.
• TLC will premiere Sarah Palin’s Alaska on November 14^th. Kate Gosselin has been confirmed as a guest star sometime in the early episodes.
• Jack Black will re-team with School Of Rock director Richard Linklater for a dark comedy called Bernie, co-starring Shirley McLaine.
• Yoko Ono has told fans ‘don’t hold your breath’ as far as being able to download The Beatles music on iTunes anytime soon.
• Director Terry Gilliam’s long-awaited Don Quixote project is running into money troubles and its future is doubtful
• Amy Poehler and Will Arnett welcomed their second child this weekend, a baby boy named Abel James who is healthy and resting comfortably.
• Ty Pennington may be getting a daytime talk show on ABC as part of his contract with Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
• Sum 41 singer Derek Whibley was hospitalized after an attack at a Japanese bar

POT AND CAT BUST?

I’m curious to hear this story

KANYE WEST VS THE NEW YORKER

Stay with me on this one, it’s Kayne West’s tweets paired with New Yorker cartoons

EMAIL OF THE DAY

OK WE FOUND THIS ONE!!

CAN I SAVE MY MARRIAGE BY HAVING A ONE-SIDED OPEN RELATIONSHIP?

FONSECA STUFF TO WATCH

EVE MENDES MAKES A SEX TAPE

Enough with the Montana Fishburne sex tape, the Kendra Wilkinson sex tape, the additional Amy Fisher sex tapes to come. Finally, super-hot, totally sexy, and completely steamy actress Eva Mendes has released a sex tape that I can’t wait to get my hands on. There’s night-vision effects, a three-way, and pretty much every position you can imagine. I don’t think there’s anything more empowering than seeing a woman make a buck off her own sex tape. This is true feminism. Hee hee….

NEWSCASTER HATES BADMINTON

You know what really pisses me off? Badminton

OHH poor KITTY

CAT CAN’T JUMP

FONSECA STUFF YOU HAVE TO KNOW

SMELL AND SOUND DEAL BREAKER

As if looking good wasn’t tough, there are other senses men are blessed with that help them figure out attraction. Unfortunately, these senses help make someone (a woman, that is) unattractive as well.

If you think about it, sound is somewhat underrated when it comes to attraction for guys. Everyone loves music, the sounds of nature, and hates traffic rumble and nails on the chalkboard. Sound can certainly play with your nerves. And smells cause stress as well; a bad smell forces a guy to move to a less foul-smelling place, and a good smell can evoke pleasant memories. With all this said, we’ve encountered a list of sound-related and smell-related deal breakers for guys. Here they are:

Animal Sex Noises - Sometimes women hit strange decibels or make sounds like they are an undiscovered animal species. If it gets bad enough he might start wondering how it’s even possible for these noises to happen, and other deep philosophical thoughts.

Snort Laugh - I think we’ve all done it before: laughing so hard that we impersonate swine. It seems to kind of slip out. As long as a woman doesn’t do it all the time I guess it’s cute. But it’s an epidemic if you snort every time you laugh.

Cackle - I think the traditional witch was the first character to introduce us to the scary cackle. Sometimes everything is going well until someone unveils their awful laugh. Then, suddenly the entire foundation of attraction crumbles beneath the laugh. Horrible laughs range from weird pitches, to hyperventilating choppiness.

Man Voice - It’s definitely distracting when a girl has a very deep voice like a guy, especially during “intimate moments.”

Chipmunk Voice - On the other end of the spectrum, and far more common, is the girl who sounds like she’s a member of the Alvin and the Chipmunks. There are many cute girls with voices that are just too high-pitched and squealing; everyone talks about it later on. It’s a shame, but true.

Fast Talker - First of all, it’s hard to understand a fast talker most of the time anytime, and guys hate it - especially on early dates - asking someone to repeat herself more than a few times. And, fast talking, while it is a bit of a skill, actually makes someone sound less intelligent for some reason.

A Nagging Whine - While it’s very effective in motivating a guy to do whatever you want (and note that he does it so he doesn’t have to hear you whine anymore), his tolerance for a nagging whine is low, regardless of how great or hot you are.

“Natural” Body Odor - Common in many hippie-type girls, this is that mixture of body odor, hemp, and all those other types of scents. Guys can get a whiff of it when the girl walks by. It’s such a tangible odor, it seems that there should be a green haze that goes with it. Some guys love it, some guys hate it.

Old Lady Perfume - Most women don’t make this mistake, but some perfumes simply remind a guy of his grandma. Some of these perfumes definitely advertise: this is an old lady here.

Bad Breath - This is a universal deal breaker. You can’t get close to, let alone kiss, anyone who doesn’t take care of their teeth. Smoking doesn’t help either.

FONSECA WIERD STUFF

MOST STOLEN CAR IN THE US

Here’s a list of the most stolen automobile in the U.S. in 2010, according to a news release from the Highway Loss Data Institute (released yesterday).

1. Cadillac Escalade

2. Chevrolet Silverado

3. Dodge Charger

4. Chevrolet Avalanche

5. Infiniti G37 Coupe

6. GMC Sierra Crew Cab

7. Nissan Maxima

8. Hummer H2

9. GMC Yukon XL 4WD

10. Chevrolet Tahoe

CHICKS LOVE GUYS WHO WEAR RED

Have you ever turned to a guy and thought, ‘Wow, he’s hot because of the x-colored shirt he’s wearing?” Probably not. But, a new study out of the University of Rochester finds women really are more attracted to guys in red. Researchers asked 288 women and 25 men to look at pictures of a man in a red shirt or another color.

The results: the women determined the men in red to be “higher in status, more likely to make money, more likely to climb the social ladder”…and more “sexually desirable” than the guys in other colors. (No, color does not have the same effect on the guys.) Ladies, if you head out to a bar tonight and see a sea of red, you’ll know why

That didn’t take long. Bristol Palin revealed in an interview with People Magazine that she has broken off her engagement to Levi Johnston and dumped him again after discovering that he fathered another child with a teenage girl from Alaska. Ironically, their relationship ended on July 14th, the same day that they announced their engagement to the world. Bristol says that Levi has shown no remorse and claims they haven’t spoken in three weeks. Sarah Palin used her Twitter account to express her support for Bristol and says that her daughter is ready to move on with her life.

LINDSAY LOHAN FINALLY GETTING QUALITY TREATMENT

Lindsay Lohan is serving her time in rehab at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Hospital where she will be treated for addiction as well as psychiatric problems. Rumors have surfaced that doctors have already begun seeing Lindsay off Adderall, but her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, denies that report, explaining that medical professionals will be taking a fresh look at Lindsay and deciding what (if any) medications that she should remain on but that she is ‘under no circumstances’ being weened off Adderall.

THE SITUATION TO PLAY A DEAD BODY ON BONES?

The creator of Bones, Hart Hanson, wants The Situation to play a murder victim in an upcoming episode. His idea for a story is pretty simple, a Guido is killed and the investigators must enter that world to investigate. Nothing is set yet, but Hanson says that The Situation’s character would be called Ritchie ‘The V’ Genero. Talks are ongoing.

PAUL MCCARTNEY WANTS TO BE ON GLEE

Who knew that Paul McCartney was a huge fan of Glee? Series creator and executive producer Ryan Murphy revealed this week that he received a mix CD of songs from Paul McCartney, including The Beatles hit ‘Michele’ along with a personal note from McCartney asking Murphy to consider the songs for use on the show. Murphy says he was ‘gobsmacked’ and at first thought that someone was playing a joke on him. He has not revealed whether or not he has decided to use the songs or perhaps do a Beatles-themed episode.

MEL GIBSON MAY HAVE BEEN ON TRANQUILIZERS ON JANUARY 6TH

Authorities investigating Mel Gibson for domestic violence have no shortage of evidence, but a new discovery may help to answer some burning questions. A message sent from Mel’s iPhone about twenty-four hours after the infamous incident on January 6th reads: “The tranquilizers only make me nuts,” suggesting that Mel may have been under the influence that evening. There’s no telling yet if Mel’s camp will try to use drugs or alcohol as an excuse, because he has still not commented publicly on the scandal

LINDSAY LOHAN WANTS TO BE AN AUTHOR

Lindsay Lohan reportedly filled several spiral notebooks during her thirteen days in jail with the intention of eventually releasing the material as a book. She allegedly used to have an interest in writing and has penned chapters about her relationship with her family, her experience in jail, and even a journal of her dreams. It’s too soon to predict if and when the booked will be edited and released, or if Lindsay will be adding to it during her stay in rehab.

JOSEPH GORDON LEVITT IN BLOODY BIKE ACCIDENT

Actor Joseph Gordon Levitt, who is rumored to be the top choice for the part of The Riddler in the next Batman film, was involved in a bike accident over the weekend while filming a new movie in New York. He crashed a bike into the back of a taxi, shattering the rear window and cutting his harm badly enough that it required thirty-one stitches. Levitt says the accident was his own fault, and he wasn’t too shook up about all the blood either, calling the whole thing ‘f–king cool.’

ICE T WANTS REVENGE ON THE DMV

Rapper and actor Ice T wants revenge for the recent incident where he was arrested for driving on a suspended license, but he is not after the cop who busted him. Ice plans to sue either the DMV or his insurance company for an error that showed an insurance lapse when no such lapse existed. Ice claims that the cop could have just issued him a ticket, but instead chose to arrest him just ‘because he could’.

TIBITS OF GOSSIP I DON’T CARE ABOUT IT

• Justin Bieber will star in a 3D movie about his life that will also include concert footage from his current tour. It’s set for release on Valentines Day and will be directed by Oscar winner Davis Guggenheim, who also made ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ with Al Gore.
• Lady GaGa received thirteen nominations for the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards to be held on September 16th of this year.
• Soundgarden will be releasing a hits compilation with the latest edition of Guitar Hero.
• Supermodel Gisele Bundchen thinks that mothers should be forced to breastfeed.
• Jon Voight says that he’s learning to use Skype so that he can talk to his army of grandkids from wherever Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are living with them at the moment.
• After more than twenty-five years as anchor, Mary Hart is rumored to be stepping down from Entertainment Tonight in the near future.
• The Brett Favre retirement saga is beginning again as conflicting reports about his return next season are already starting to surface.
• Glee creator Ryan Murphy is writing a half-hour musical/comedy television show that will star Kristin Chenoweth. No further details are available yet.
• Real Housewives of New Jersey star Danielle Staub wants to work with pop star Ke$ha on her upcoming album.
• Michael Lohan implied that his ex-fiancé, Kate Major, used to be a hooker on his Twitter yesterday.
• SNL alum Horatio Sanz has lost a ton of weight and was looking great at the premiere of The Other Guys in New York City on Monday night.
• Will-I-am is against the release of Michael Jackson’s posthumous album in November, which he collaborated on, because Michael was a perfectionist and never gave the album his blessing.
• Laurence Fishburne’s daughter, Montana, says that her dad is hurt by her decision to release a sex tape and that the two are not currently speaking.
• The last movie of the franchise, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, will be released on November 16th of 2012.

SUBWOOFER

I still think that the parents with their kids on leashes are more disturbing.

LISA’S WEDDING

Though Lisa Simpson has been 8 years old for about twenty years, her wedding date was predicted back in 1995, season six – and we missed it!

NEIMAN MARCUS PLUS SIZE MODEL-HERE’S WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE!!

Is this a joke? Below is a page out of the Neiman Marcus online catalog. It shows a model in a dress that is part of the retailer’s plus-sized clothing line. Granted her arms look a little long, but we’re guessing long arms don’t constitute being “plus-sized.” So does she really look like she’s a 1X, 2X or 3X, because we’re not seeing it. The dress is clearly ONLY available in plus sizes, because if you click on the “First, Select Size” drop down, there are only plus sizes listed. WTF?!

CLICK HERE TO SEE

STUDIO WEB CAM

Watch live video from fonsecashow’s channel on Justin.tv

EMAIL OF THE DAY

HOW DO I TELL A PARTNER I HAVE A SMALL MAN-PART?

FONSECA TV

TERESA GUIDICE (”REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NJ”) PIMPS A TANNING SALON

Teresa Giudice of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” must be really, really hard up for money. I guess her estate auction didn’t fetch as much as she was counting on because she is now endorsing fake baking. I hope that Sizzle Tans is at least giving her free tanning as payment for her work. It might be a struggle for her to afford it with the implementation of the tanning tax. Actually, being a fan of hers I’m a little embarrassed for her… poor thing… Although I will say she has a rockin’ body for recently having baby number 4.

IRON CHEF AMERICA COMPILATION

Today’s secret ingredient is…

FONSECA WIERD STUFF

WHAT GUYS LOVE AND HATE ABOUT WHAT WOMEN WEAR

1. The sexiest style: the gym look. 67 percent of guys polled said there’s nothing sexier than athletic clothes and minimal makeup.

2. A close second: sexy secretary style. Mad Men-fashion devotees, you’re on to something. The guys polled confessed to going gaga for a no-nonsense, getting-down-to-business style: professional clothing, heels and natural makeup.

3. He hates high fashion. Only 15 percent of men said they dig a heavily-styled look, and almost two-thirds said they’re not into it. The reason they gave? Simple: it looks stupid.

4. Less is not always more. Much to our surprise, not all guys love a woman’s sexy night-out style. In fact, about half of men think women overdress (is this because you have to wait for her while she gets ready?) And a fourth of guys claim they think the “night out” look is too revealing.

5. He loves you without makeup: The top-ranking looks (gym style and the professional look) both go easy on the makeup, and a full third of guys polled said they prefer a woman without any makeup at all, explaining that they thought it looked fake. Two-thirds of guys don’t mind a swipe of mascara here and there, but made it clear that heavy makeup looks trashy.

THE KEY TO A GUY’S “SECRET SIGN LANGUAGE” IS IN HIS HANDS – WHAT IS HE REALLY FEELING?

You know what they say about a man’s hands: They can tell you a lot about his, uh, well yes, that too, but we are taking about his personality and what he’s feeling on this one. Check out these four common hand signals for clues as to what’s really going through his head.

Okay Sign - When a guy is happy with how things are going, he’ll often make this sign of approval without realizing it. For example, he may rest his hand on the table this way if he feels a date is going well.

Steeple - Touching fingertips to fingertips is a hint he’s feeling cocky, so it’ll be tough to get him to listen to you. But if there’s space between his hands, he’s confident but also eager to get your opinion.

Middle Finger - A dude will unknowingly give you the bird — think scratching his face with it — when he’s upset. Instead of taking offense, ask him a leading question, such as “I might be wrong here, but are you unhappy about something?”

Love Signal - Even if your guy hasn’t dropped those three little words yet, his fingers might have. When a man feels a strong connection, he’ll subconsciously create the love sign-language gesture while doing random things.

FACEBOOK DOMINATES OUR TIME ONLINE

Social networking websites continue to dominate an increasing portion of the time we spend online, new Nielsen data says. Users are spending 23% of their time on the Internet using sites like Facebook and MySpace, and just 8.3% on email. Technologizer reports that just last year, the split was much more even: users spent 15.8% of their time on social sites and 11.5% on email.

Facebook is dominating all social sites, with an 85 percent share of social networking use. MySpace comes in a very distant second with a five percent share, and Twitter only a single percentage point. Our third most popular activity online is playing games, which on average takes up about 10 percent of our time.

The infamous ‘day after’ e-mails that Mel sent to Oksana apologizing for his behavior have now revealed that Mel was also using prescription drugs. He wrote, “The tranquilizers only make me nuts.” Tranquilizers are often used to treat anxiety, insomnia and sometimes alcohol withdrawal (hmmmm). Mel sent the explanatory note to Oksana from his iPhone on the morning of January 7. It was the day after Oksana is claiming Mel punched her in the face twice damaging her teeth and then tried to choke her while she was holding their infant daughter.

FRANK SINATRA JR HOSPITALIZED AFTER SUICIDE ATTEMPT

Frank Sinatra Jr. was taken to the hospital after authorities in Downey, California responded to a 911 call about a possible suicide attempt yesterday afternoon. According to law enforcement officials, sixty-six-year-old Sinatra had consumed too many pills, but was conscious when authorities arrived on the scene. A source close to the family reportedly confirmed to TMZ that it was indeed a suicide attempt.

LINDSAY LOHAN BEGINS A 3 MONTH STAY IN REHAB

Yesterday, in the early morning hours, Lindsay Lohan was released from jail after serving thirteen days of her ninety-day sentence and taken directly to a rehab program at UCLA that has been custom-designed to treat her. Dina Lohan told reporters that she was finally able to hug Lindsay, and denied that the family was upset at the last minute rehab change-of-venue, saying that Lindsay is in good hands. Sources say that Lindsay was upset that she couldn’t have a day with her family before rehab, and continues to believe that she doesn’t have a problem. Lindsay’s attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley has also denied that she’s seen any report stating that Lindsay will be treated for bipolar disorder and addiction to methamphetamine, the source of which is still not clear.

CHARLIE SHEEN’S SWEET DEAL

Charlie Sheen’s legal case in Aspen, Colorado, which has been ongoing since he was arrested last Christmas for domestic violence, finally concluded yesterday as Charlie plead guilty and was sentenced to thirty days in rehab, three months probation, and 36 hours of domestic violence counseling as part of a plea deal that keeps him out of jail. Witnesses say Charlie looked upbeat in court and publicly accepted responsibility for his actions. His attorney also applauded the ruling. Apparently Charlie won’t even have to serve his time in rehab; he’ll get credit for time served earlier this year. His reps confirm that he’ll be back at work shooting Two & A Half Men today in Los Angeles.

JUSTIN BIEBER TO RELEASE MEMOIR

Sixteen-year-old pop star Justin Bieber will release a hardcover, illustrated memoir sometime in October titled: Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story. The book will contain the story of Bieber’s rise to stardom as well as exclusive, never-before-seen photos. In a statement, Justin said: “Every day I wake up and count my blessings. My fans have played such a large part in all of this and they help me live my dreams every day. I’m excited to share just a little bit more of my world with them through this book.”

JAMES VAN DER BEEK MARRIES HIS PREGANT GIRLFRIEND

James Van Der Beek married his pregnant girlfriend, Kimberly Brook, on Sunday in a small ceremony in Tel Aviv, Israel. The two met in Isreal about a year ago as Van Der Beek was still finalizing his divorce from first wife Heather McComb. Sources say that only a few close friends and teachers attended the ceremony. Kimberly’s dress was called ‘a vintage creation by Shareen’ while Van Der Beek wore an Armani suit. The couple is already expecting their first child, due later this year

MANY AMERICAN IDOL RUMORS ARE TRUE

Many had hoped that Fox’s presentation at the Television Critics Association press tour yesterday would finally put an end to all the speculation about the new judge’s panel. Fox Entertainment Chairman Peter Rice would only say that many of the rumors we’ve heard are true and many are false, but insisted that no deals have been signed on either side of the camera for anyone who wasn’t there last season. Rice promised that everything would be figured in plenty of time for when auditions kick off in September.

THE BACHELORETTE MAKES HER CHOICE

Ali Fedotowsky accepted insurance agent Roberto Martinez’s marriage proposal on a private beach in Bora Bora on last night’s episode of The Bachelorette. After starting with twenty-five men, she endured every manner of betrayal and heartbreak before coming to her decision. Ali broke the news gently to the other finalist, thirty-three-year-old landscaper Chris Lambton, who said that as much as the situation hurts, he just wants to see her happy.

THE SIMPSONS RELEASE HUGE LIST OF GUEST STARS

The new season of The Simpsons will be even heavier on guest stars than usual as producers released a list yesterday that includes: Daniel Radcliffe, Hugh Laurie, Martha Stewart, Paul Rudd, Jon Hamm, and members of the Glee cast who will be featured in the season premiere as Lisa attends a performing arts camp. Ironically, Glee is the other Fox show with a long list of upcoming guest stars, with rumored appearances by Jennifer Lopez, Susan Boyle, Javier Bardem, and many more

TIBITS OF GOSSIP I DON’T CARE ABOUT

• According to TMZ Lindsay’s hobby in the clink was writing. It is reported that she filled several notebooks documenting everything about her life. The journal may one day be published.
• Liam Neeson has bowed out of Steven Spielberg’s long-awaited biopic of Abraham Lincoln after five years of no movement on the project.
• The producers of Despicable Me are planning to reboot the Curious George franchise in their style of animation.
• Sandra Bullock will co-star with Steve Carell in a new film from the producers of Little Miss Sunshine.
• Adult film star Sasha Grey is in negotiations to star in a low budget indie movie with Rob Lowe and Jeremy Piven.
• Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence are starring in a new sitcom for ABC Family.
• Sources are screaming that Daniel Day-Lewis will play Sherlock Holmes’ nemesis Professor Moriarty in the franchise’s upcoming sequel.
• Nathan Lane will be coming to ABC’s new hit Modern Family for a guest role.
• Katy Perry told Rolling Stone that her parents are both devote Christian ministers who would sometimes speak in tongues.
• Linda Hogan denies that she’s engaged to her 21-year-old boyfriend, Charlie Hill.
• FOX has announced the launch of their first country music awards show, The American Country Awards, set for December 6^th from Las Vegas.

HEY BOO BOO

STUDIO WEB CAM

EMAIL OF THE DAY

email us fonseca@fonsecashow.com

I THINK MY BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING…

FONSECA TV

But he prefers the taste of strippers. Yuck. What will all the teenyboppers think?

WASHER DEATH

Watch as this washing machine basically commits suicide

FONSECA WIERD STUFF

GUYS TELL YOU WHY YOU SHOULD STILL BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX

1. It Will Help You Get Over Her - Ultimately, she’s still human, and when you read some of the dumb things she posts, it’ll remind you of the things you hated about her … like her jokes.

2. It Shows You’re Over Her (Even if You Aren’t) - Yes, you hate her and still love her, but your friends will only give you a week before you become the weird, sad guy.

3. It Makes Spying on Her Easier - Back in the day, a man had to risk a restraining order to learn his ex’s every move. Now, she makes it easy with status updates.

4. You’ll Know Whom to Avoid - Mutual friends will take sides. Find out who’s on her side via wall posts. That’s as good a way as any to divide up mutual friends.

5. To Remember Her - Some of us date so much, it’s hard to keep track. Especially since no one has a little black book anymore. Even if this isn’t true, it’s sounds really cool when you say it.

6. It Shows You’re a Good Guy - Women don’t stay friends with guys who treated them poorly. When your new girlfriend sees that all your exes haven’t blocked you, she’ll know you’re not a cheater or bad person.

7. It Proves You’re an Adult (Even if You Aren’t) - Something as petty as deleting someone from Facebook is a gesture an important man wouldn’t even waste time worrying about.

8. To Mess With Her New Boyfriends - When she updates her relationship status, he’s yours. Make his online life hell.

9. To Make Her Jealous - There is nothing better than making an ex jealous. It’s a feeling sweeter than first falling for her. And with your new single lifestyle, you’ll have plenty of photos to make her jealous.

10. There Are Better Revenge Tactics - If you delete her, you ruin your chances at a much better revenge in the future when she’s not expecting it. If you notice she’s celebrating her sister’s graduation at a bar on a particular night, show up on a date with the best friend she secretly hates. Every girl has that “frien-emy.”

5 TYPES OF SHOPPERS, WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

It goes without saying that every single person shops for clothes differently. Some of us hate shopping for anything (clothes-wise) online and would rather pick up one or two pieces every week. Others do shop online and order by seasons, others may shop on a monthly basis, and yet others may need to seriously be in the mood to buy. Strategic Retail did a little survey in order to come up with the different shopping styles, and came to the conclusion that the entire world fits into only five different shopping categories. Read on to find out what kind of shopper you are.

1. Shop-a-Lot Sue makes up 21% of the world and clearly loves to shop. Her income in the mid-five figures has limited her ability to buy brand-name items, but she’d rather shop smarter than quit shopping altogether.

2. Miserable Mona rounds out 18% of the population and has become depressed about the current financial woes. Like Sue, her income is in the mid-five figures, but she’d rather not shop than have to think about the fact that she can’t afford what she wants.

3. I’ll Pass Patty is 20% of the world’s shoppers and just doesn’t care about buying things. Despite her higher than average income, almost six figures, she’s all about convenience and would rather shop online because rummaging through the racks feels like a chore as opposed to a joy.

4. Bubble Barbie makes up 24% of the world, with an average income of $72,000, and seems to have her head in the clouds. She’s one of the many enticed by new products and she still spent money during the recession despite any economic woes.

5. Chic Chic Charlotte encompasses 17% of the world and has a high household income in the low six figures. She hasn’t been affected by the recession, but while she loves to shop, even she is worried about going overboard.

SIGNS HE’S EITHER INTO YOU AND WANTS TO ASK YOU OUT, OR HE’S SIMPLY LOST INTEREST

It happens at bars across the world every Friday and Saturday night (well, any night, really)… Your eyes meet across the room… You think he’s hot and are instantly attracted to him, but what does he think about you? Does he think you look hot in that dress or just plain frumpy? Does he want to ask you out or is he losing interest? We decode his behavior below - signs he’ll ask you out and signs he’s losing interest. Here you go:

He raises his eyebrows. When a man sees someone he’s into, he’ll automatically lift and lower his eyebrows, wrinkling his forehead in the process. But you’ll have to keep your eyes peeled to catch a glimpse of this tell-tale signal.

He tilts his head slightly to the side when your eyes meet . The head tilt is a subconscious come-hither signal that the guy is interested in you.

He can’t wipe off that wide-smile. Consider it the “Wow, you give me butterflies smile.” If it’s accompanied by a hearty laugh, look out. If he were any more into you, he might get down on one knee!

He mirrors you. Mirroring gestures are where the guy picks up his glass to drink at the same time as you, or makes similar movements with his body at the same time as you. He may cross or uncross his legs when you do or make similar hand gestures.

He extends his palm. When a guy offers his palm to you, face up, you know hands down he’s hooked. He’s literally and figuratively reaching out to the person he’s speaking with in an attempt to connect on a deeper emotional level.

He holds a long, piercing gaze. He’s doing that as he wants to date you. But if it’s a long term relationship you’re looking for, pass it up. Because although you may think he’s smitten, he could be playing you. Holding intense eye contact for more than five seconds doesn’t happen naturally, so he may be using the look solely as a player’s technique to get what he wants!

He averts his eyes. Your man will reduce eye contact. He’s subconsciously aware that one peek into his peepers will reveal his inner feelings.

He turns his cheek mid-conversation. Occasionally averting his eyes or scanning the room is normal, but if you find yourself talking mostly to his profile, you’re in trouble.

After serving just 13 days of her sentence Lindsay has been released from jail. According to Steve Whitmore, the media spokesman for the Los Angeles County Sheriff Department, Lindsay was picked up at the jail at 1:35 am PT this morning by staffers from the UCLA medical center where she will go to fulfill the rehab phase of her sentence. Lindsay was release primarily because of jail overcrowding but also had her sentence shaved for good behavior.

LINDSAY LOHAN TO BE TREATED FOR METH AND BIPOLAR DISORDER

TMZ is reporting that Lindsay Lohan will be treated for her addiction to methamphetamine as well as for bipolar disorder during her court ordered 90 days in rehab. A source familiar with Lindsay’s case says that meth and opiates are her drugs of choice. Originally the judge had ordered Lindsay to serve out the rehab portion at Morningside Recovery; but after her release this morning it was learned that she will be getting treatment at UCLA. Lindsay will not be in the general psych ward at UCLA, but rather in a specialized program to deal with psychological, as well as addiction problems.

INCEPTION CONTINUES TO TOP BOX OFFICE

Inception came in first at the box office for the third strait week with a take of $27.5 million, bringing its grand total to roughly $200 million. Dinner For Schmucks was second with $23 million and Salt hung onat number three with about $20 million.

OKSANA TO GIVE DEPOSITION UNDER OATH TODAY

Oksana Grigorieva will testify under oath today as she gives a deposition in her bitter custody dispute with Mel Gibson. Though the proceedings will focus primarily on Lucia, Oksana may be asked about the recording and sale of the now infamous tapes. Don’t expect too many revelations just yet though, she’ll likely invoke her 5^th Amendment rights and refuse to talk about the recordings at all. However, we may learn more about her domestic violence allegations against Mel and possibly what really happened during the physical altercation between them in January.

KARA DIOGUARDI FIRED FROM AMERICAN IDOL

As the new American Idol begins to take shape, Kara DioGuardi has been fired from the judges table to make room for a new panel that is likely to consist of Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler, and Randy Jackson. Kara was the only judge with a year-to-year contract, making her an easy target compared to Randy Jackson, who producers are said to be keeping on board to help maintain some familiarity amidst all the changes. Sources say that Kara could possibly be back if the deal with Jennifer Lopez deal falls through, but that’s unlikely. Meanwhile, sources for Aerosmith refuse to confirm that Steven Tyler is on board, but insist that nothing will interfere with him completing the extensive tour that the band is currently on.

SNOOKI GETS ARRESTED

The Seaside Heights police arrested Snooki – also known as Nicole Polizzi, for disorderly conduct on Friday afternoon. She had been partying on the boardwalk earlier in the day with a beer bong, doing body shots at a local bar and also fell off a bike at one point. She was held in custody for several hours and then released on her own recognizance, after which she went out to dinner with one of her cast mates. Sources say the show was taping at the time.

HEIDI MONTAG FILES FOR DIVORCE

Heidi Montag has filed for divorce from Spencer Pratt just six weeks after filing for separation, citing irreconcilable differences. The two married in April 2009. Court documents also indicate that Heidi is asking the court to terminate Spencer’s right to spousal support. The move comes just days after (or in response to) a claim by one of Heidi’s friends that she just visited the couple at home and indicated that everything seemed fine. Rumors have persisted since their separation that the whole scenario is nothing but a publicity stunt.

LINDSAY LOHAN’S SECRET FILM

You can’t make this stuff up. Just weeks before she went to jail, Lindsay Lohan, shot a scene for a secret movie directed by Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow spokesman who was busted last year for getting into a fistfight with a prostitute. Lindsay and Vince reportedly met in Cannes back in May between Lindsay’s court dates. The film is called ‘Underground Comedy Movie 2010’ and Lindsay plays a Marilyn Monroe spoof that shoots at the paparazzi. She shot her scene on June 17, while she was still wearing her SCRAM bracelet. The accessory is visible on screen and Lindsay reportedly ad-libbed a line about it that appears in the movie.

WOMAN ACCUSED OF ATTACKING LEO DICAPRIO ARRESTED

Forty-year-old Aretha Wilson has been extradited from Canada to the United States where she is currently in custody and awaiting trial for slashing Leonardo DiCaprio’s face open with a drinking glass at a Hollywood party in 2005. Wilson was arrested and charged after the incident but then fled the country. Authorities say that DiCaprio needed seventeen stitches to close up the wounds on his face and ear. Oddly, the party where the attack occurred was at the home of Rick Salomon, also known as Paris Hilton’s sex tape partner

TIBITS OF GOSSIP I DON’T CARE ABOUT

• Chelsea Clinton finally got married this weekend, ending months of speculation and build-up about this ‘wedding of the decade’.
• Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats also wed this weekend in France. The five-months pregnant Keys walked the aisle in front of guests like Bono and Queen Latifah.
• Rapper T.I. married his longtime girlfriend Tameka Cottie in a secret ceremony this weekend at a Miami Beach courthouse.
• Charlie Sheen has been ordered to court this Monday, probably to finally settle his plea deal, which will likely result in him receiving probation.
• Jennifer Aniston may do a guest spot on Cougar Town this season with her real life BFF Courtney Cox.
• LeAnn Rimes man Eddie Cibrian just landed a role on NBC’s new fall drama, Chase, about a team of U.S. marshals hunting fugitives.
• Rob Lowe has been promoted to series regular on Parks & Recreation.
• Super-publicist Howard Bragman quit working as Oksana Grigorieva’s rep almost as soon as he signed on, likely because she won’t stop talking to the press.
• Actor Laurence Fishburne’s nineteen-year-old daughter intends to make her way into Hollywood by releasing a sex tape, because that’s how Kim Kardashian did it.
• President Obama’s appearance on The View gave the show its highest-ratings ever, more than 6.6 million viewers.
• Hugh Hefner reportedly wants to open casinos in England and China.
• The X-Factor winner Joe McElderry came out as gay over the weekend. He’s only nineteen, but says that so far everyone has been supportive.
• Al Gore has been cleared of all sexual assault charges made by Portland massage therapist Molly Hagerty due to lack of evidence.

BITS OF GOSSIP I DON’T CARE ABOUT