BIZARRE  STUFF 08/04/10

ITALY CROWNS 365 POUND LADY MISS CHUBBY

Beauty queens are not known for being an especially diverse group in the size department. Whether their skin is pearl white or coffee brown, usually they’ve got legs up to here and weigh 120 lbs. soaking wet.

But for the past 21 years, Italy has crowned a different sort of beauty queen: Miss Chubby. Yes, the country that invented Sophia Loren (and spaghetti bolognese and cannoli) acknowledges that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Thirty large female contestants strut their stuff down a runway in gowns or undergarments and then hop on a scale for a shame-free public weigh-in. The gal who weighs the most - this year, Angela Scognamiglio, at almost 375 lbs - takes home the honored title. “I am very moved, I feel as if I’ve won the lottery,” Scognamiglio gushed. The only prize at a Miss Chubby Beauty Pageant is a cake to share among the contestants. - Alas, prizes are not the point: getting screamed at by Jillian Michaels on national television isn’t the only place a fat woman belongs

BIZARRE STUFF 08/03/10

WOMAN CALLS 911 LOOKING FOR A DATE

Police in Ohio said they arrested a woman accused of drunk-dialing 911 and telling dispatchers she was looking for a date. Norwood police said Bernadette Music, 43, called 911 four or five times on July 26 to ask dispatchers to go out with her. One of the dispatchers was able to lure her out of her apartment by telling her that “she would love what he looks like,” referring to the officer waiting to arrest her. Music was arraigned on two counts of disorderly conduct yesterday morning. – Below is the news video, which includes part of the 911 call along with her side of the story. The 911 call begins at about the :55 mark.

BIZARRE STUFF 08/02/10

YMCA TELLS MOM TO STOP BREAST FEEDING BECAUSE OF THE NO EATING POLICY

She was told by the staff that she could not nurse there. Apparently there is a “no eating within Child Watch” policy and the staff at the Y said this included breastfeeding. They also told her that she would be “exposing herself” and the “kids would see it.”

Elizabeth told them she was protected by Massachusetts law that she can breastfeed her child there. That’s when they told her to breastfeed in the hall. Really? The Hall? So now you have a stressed out mom, ready to pick up her kids from day care, and one hungry baby who needs to eat in the hall. I’m not sure if there were chairs in the hall, but why or rather HOW could the staff at the Y be that insensitive? Couldn’t they offer up an office or somewhere that the mother could be comfortable if they were so concerned of her “exposing herself”?

The mom spoke to the Y’s director, who seemed to be concerned about what had taken place, but then the director reminded her that her Y “membership can be terminated at any time, for any reason.” The irony is that World Breastfeeding Week is this week (August 1 - 7). Here is the mom’s open letter to the Y in Woburn, MA from Elizabeth Gomez:

To Whom it May Concern,

I am writing this letter to follow up on a conversation I had yesterday with Amy Turner regarding my legal right to breastfeed in the Child Watch daycare portion of the North Suburban YMCA in Woburn, MA. My overall goal in addressing this issue is a peaceful resolution, but staff education on the local level, and attention brought to this issue within the regional/national structure of the YMCA, are also extremely important to me. Upon researching this issue over the last day, I have come across numerous incidents that have made the news regarding the YMCA and breastfeeding in recent years. It is clear to me that a national policy needs to be established. Though I am aware that this is not within your control on the local level, it is within your power to educate your own employees, and to post signs within your establishment that support and encourage breastfeeding in all areas where mothers and children are otherwise allowed to be.

To restate the chain of events yesterday for anyone other than Amy who may read this letter:

I returned to child watch to pick up my three children, Ricky, 5, Caroline, 2, and Christian, 3 months old. Christian was hungry so I sat down to nurse him in the Child Watch area. I was told in no uncertain terms that I could not feed him there. I informed the workers that what they were telling me was illegal, and that I am allowed to breastfeed wherever I am able to be lawfully present. They insisted that the “no eating within Child Watch” policy included breastfeeding. She also stated that I would be “exposing myself” and the “kids would see it.” I again told them that they were being discriminatory and that my right to breastfeed is protected by law. At this point the other childcare worker stepped in and agreed with her coworker, and they both told me that I must go into the hall in order to breastfeed, and that I needed to take it up with the director if I had an issue with this policy. At that point I left with my hungry baby to find another place to nurse. It was safer to leave my two year old daughter screaming in Child Watch than to try to chase her around the Y while nursing my baby. She was obviously upset by this turn of events and was crying as I left.

When I spoke to the director about this issue, Amy Turner, she assured me she would look into the issue for me, and she seemed to take my complaint seriously. During our initial conversation, when I informed her that the YMCA’s actions were illegal, she also made it a point to tell me that my “membership can be terminated at any time, for any reason.” This statement concerns me very much, because I value my YMCA membership, and do not want my membership terminated. On the other hand, I do not want to be pressured by the threat of losing my membership to not follow up on this violation of my legal rights, and I feel strongly that staff education on this matter is of the utmost importance.

The law that I referred to yesterday in my conversations with various YMCA employees was passed recently in Massachusetts. It is MGL chapter 111, section 221, and it states, “A mother may breastfeed her child in any public place or establishment or place which is open to and accepts or solicits the patronage of the general public* and where the mother and child may otherwise be lawfully present. No person or entity shall “restrict, harass, or penalize a mother” who is breastfeeding her child. *with the exception of houses of worship or places of religious instruction.” In my conversation with Amy yesterday, I read the law to her, and she expressed that it was possible the YMCA was covered under the religious exemption. However, since no religious classes happen at the Woburn YMCA, and certainly not in the Child Watch area, and it also cannot be considered a “place of worship,” the religious exemption under the law does not apply in this case.

Any private establishment that invites patronage, like the YMCA, is included under this law. It is my greatest hope that this mistake can be rectified by the YMCA, by first and foremost changing the policy on a local level in the Child Watch center, by finding ways to educate all current and future employees on the legality of this issue, and by posting signs which reassure and encourage breastfeeding mothers so that they know the YMCA supports breastfeeding within their establishment. On a national YMCA level, I would like attention brought to this issue and my complaint copied and sent to all relevant parties, so that the YMCA can work on its overall policies in order to avoid this kind of situation in future interactions with mothers and their children.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Gomez

BIZARRE STUFF 07/29/10

FARMER FEEDS COWS WINE TO MAKE THEM HAPPIER

In other alcohol-and-food-combo news… All you vegetarians out there, this food trend is definitely not for you: A Canadian farmer has concocted the idea of giving each of her cows a liter of red wine for the last 90 days of before slaughter. “Yes, it seems strange at first, but when you stop to think about it, red wine and beef are one of the most classic pairings imaginable,” said the farmer. “What seems even stranger, then, is why didn’t someone think of this sooner?”

It’s possible there are some logical answers to that question, but better to read the farmer’s description of the boozing Angus cattle: “Once they have it, they’re happy to have it again. They moo at one another a little more and seem more relaxed. There are a few that lap it up out of the pail. After they’ve had it for a while, when they see us coming with the pitchers, they don’t run, but they come faster than usual.”

POLICE USE FACEBOOK TO FIND SERIAL KILLER

Yesterday we told you about how divorce lawyers are using Facebook to dig up dirt for their cases. Today we’re telling you about how police used Facebook to find a serial killer.

Philippine authorities have arrested a man suspected of murdering 9 people this month - all thanks to his Facebook account. Mark Dizon, whose alleged victims include a Canadian, an American, a Brit and their Filipina partners, “was fond of computers and this gave him away,” the police superintendent said. A suspect seen fleeing the most recent murder was identified by a family friend of the victims, whose daughter is a Facebook friend of Dizon. Small world…It always comes back to Facebook!

BIZARRE STUFF 07/28/10

BOYFRIEND SENDS NAKED TEXT TO GIRLFRIEND, BUT MOM GETS IT INSTEAD

Note to all you lovebirds out there: If you decide to send a risqué picture of yourself to your girlfriend, make sure she doesn’t share her cell phone with her mother first. An 18-year-old Glendale, WI (just north of Milwaukee) man got in trouble last week after he sent a nude picture of himself to his 17-year-old girlfriend. The problem is, the girl shares her phone with her mother, who was the one who first saw the picture. Brookfield, WI cops (where the mom and daughter live) cited the man for disorderly conduct. – No other info given or available but it’s hilarious, right? I bet it happens more than you think

WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER TELLS BRIDE AND GROOM TO POSE WITH GUNS, GETS SHOT

“From what we have been able to establish, the photographer had asked the parents of the bride and groom if they had any guns to use as props in a picture and one went off hitting him in the head killing him,” said a police spokesman.

BIZARRE STUFF 07/27/10

WAL-MART PUTTING RADIO FREQUENCY SMART TAGS IN YOUR JEANS AND UNDERWEAR TO SPY ON YOU

If you purchase a piece of clothing from Wal-Mart, beware: the retailer may be spying on you from your closet. The megastore soon plans to put radio frequency “smart tags” on all its jeans and underwear, allowing them to geo track each garment’s whereabouts. While the tags are removable, they don’t ever stop working, so Wal-Mart would at least know where you chucked your tags. Kind of creepy, right?

The measure is supposedly being employed to keep better track of inventory, but privacy critics naturally say it’s far too Big Brother-y of Wal-Mart to do such a thing. Actually, they’re really more concerned that criminals will start looking at your trash to see what types of purchases you make.

The Wall Street Journal reports (see article below) that Wal-Mart will install these radio tags on “jeans and underwear.” Our question is this: Why just jeans and underwear? Why not all clothes? Why not on every single piece of merchandise? Check out this handy infographic on how the smart tags work in the first link below.

MAN FINED $222 FOR RIDING A MOTORIZED COOLER ON THE SIDEWALK

Everyone knows that drinking and driving are illegal. But in Nova Scotia, one man found out that driving on your drinks can be illegal, too…at least if it’s on the sidewalk. Neil Rideout was fined for doing exactly that. After being advised by police days earlier to keep his souped-up motorized cooler - equipped with a radio, cup holders and 5.5-horsepower engine - off the street, he was riding it to the store on the sidewalk when an officer stopped and asked him to examine the vehicle and its contents.

“At that point, thinking that it was a joke, I kind of lifted the top of the cooler and said, ‘Officer, go ahead.’ All he found was a combination lock and a half-bottle of Orange Crush.” Rideout’s fine is $222, which he plans to fight in court. He says he feels he’s being discriminated against and commented, “I wish they’d focus on criminals and not coolers.”

BIZARRE STUFF 07/09/10

NANNY HAS HEART ATTACK WHILE MASTURBATING TO PORN

Nicola Paginton is an inspiration to us all: the 30-year-old nanny allegedly died of a heart attack while masturbating to porn. Suck it, Mary Poppins! Police said last October, Paginton failed to show up for work one day, so her employer went to the nanny’s house because she wasn’t answering her phone. There she and a neighbor broke inside and discovered Paginton dead, lying on her bed with a vibrator by her side and a porn playing on her laptop. The coroner ruled her “activity before bed” likely contributed to this otherwise healthy young lady’s sudden heart arrhythmia.

Let this be a reminder to us all to only give house keys to friends who we wouldn’t mind seeing our bodies mid-orgasm after rigor mortis has set in. Sorry, probably an inappropriate thing to say, given the woman died…

BIZARRE STUFF 07/08/10

GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR SKINNY DIPPING

On Saturday, July 10, at 3 p.m. Eastern Nudist Time, naked folks will link arms with other nudists around the country to attempt a new Guinness World Record for the most people simultaneously skinny-dipping. The American Association for Nude Recreation sponsored a similar event last year, which drew 13,648 participants - or 27,296 total buttcheek - into pools, lakes and rivers across the country. The event is running in conjunction with Nude Recreation Week. This event will focus the attention of the world on the joys of wholesome, happy skinny-dipping as an American tradition. Check out the link below for more info, including cities around the U.S. that are going to participate.

IRAN CRACKS DOWN ON WESTERN HAIRSTYLES – NO MULLETS!

Yeah, yeah, the mullet is a terrible haircut (unless you live in San Jose, CA, where the mullet is king). And, aren’t you glad that as an American, you have the right to wear it?

Already known for restricting the style freedoms of women (via bans on makeup and tanning, among others), the Iranian government has set its sights on men, specifically on their ponytails, spikes, and mullets - Westernized hairdos that they insist are “don’ts” in the Islamic world. The government has helpfully produced a pamphlet featuring acceptable men’s haircuts (see first link below).

“The proposed styles are inspired by Iranians’ complexion, culture and religion, and Islamic law,” says official Jaleh Khodayar. We’re going to go out on a limb here and say that the latter had more to do with their approval of a sweet pompadour than “complexion.” Why do they even have to pretend that it’s about anything else? They certainly don’t when it comes to policing women’s fashions.

Anyway, not to get to preachy or on our soap box, but…on the surface, morality laws policing style may seem like relatively small infringements on a person’s rights. But the body is the only tool of expression that every person has, and we don’t want to see anyone’s rights to it taken away…even if that means more French manicures and mullets in the world.

2011 FORD CARS WILL READ YOUR TEXT MESSAGES ALOUD

The next generation of Ford cars will be able to read your text messages aloud. The update to Ford’s SYNC technology - which will be available on 2011 models - is pitched as a safety improvement so drivers can keep their hands on the wheel. The new version of SYNC (for Blackberry owners only, at first) will also include a feature that allows drivers to block incoming texts and calls with a Do Not Disturb button. Learn more about it in the link below

BIZARRE STUFF 07/06/10

YOU CAN TELL IF A MAN IS A VIRGIN

While women have historically been subjected to all sorts of poking and prodding to see if their innocence is still intact, there has been no such comparable test for men. Until now. A woman in Vietnam claims to have a simple way to determine if a man still has his V-card. Pham Thi Hong, a medical practitioner in Hanoi, claims that men who are virgins have small red spots on the backs of their ears that disappear once they’ve done the deed. Oooookay. I wonder if there’s a scientific reason for that. And if so, why are we just hearing about this now?

Hong was caring for a male prisoner, serving a sentence for gang rape, when she discovered that his red dots were still in place. She took this to mean that he could not have been guilty. Hong lobbied to have the case reopened when she examined two of the man’s alleged accomplices and found them to be virgins as well. But is her male virginity test legit? I, personally, am going to need a lot more convincing.

JUDGE ORDERS FIGHTING COUPLE TO PUT UP A WALL IN THEIR HOME

Still living with your spouse even though you’re going through a divorce? Is your spouse still behaving like a jack*ss? If you live in New York, you may be ordered to actually put up a wall to divide the house and live “apart” until the divorce is final. A New York judge has ordered a couple to do just that.

Pinchs and Nechama Gold, an Orthodox Jewish couple, have been married for 21 years but Nechama Gold says her husband verbally abuses her and their five children, the New York Post reported Monday. Judge Eric Prus Thursday ordered the Golds to divide their 3,000-square-foot home in two while the divorce proceeds — giving them two weeks to decided where to put the wall or leaving it up to the court to make the decision.

Pinchs Gold alleges his wife has exiled him from their bedroom and he has had to sleep in the dining room for two years. After the judge directed the couple to put up a wall in the house, Nechama Gold’s lawyer, Brian Perskin, said: “It’s a large house, so I think we can come up with some sort of agreement. But she wants him out.”

Pinchs has come up with a plan that would give his wife and their children about 700 more square feet than he would get. Awwwww… How kind, you freakin’ douche bag!

WOMAN GIVES NEIGHBOR’S TRAILER AWAY FOR FREE ON CRAIG’S LIST

Vanessa Kimball of Land O’Lakes, Florida, was upset that a new neighbor, Robert Andrews, had left his trailer, packed with old furniture, in the parking lot of their apartment complex that she decided to give it away. Unbeknownst to Andrews, of course.

Police say that Kimball, 29, posted an ad on Craig’s List (of course) encouraging anyone to “come get this trailer, attach it to your car and get it out of here.”Police believe Kimball was upset that the trailer was left in the parking lot of their Land O’ Lakes apartment complex.

Andrews learned about the ad when people continued to show up, asking about the trailer. The trailer and furniture were returned the next day, but Andrews says it was damaged. Kimball was released Friday on $2,000 bail. – Can’t really blame Kimball, right? I mean how many of us would LOVE to be able to do something like this?!

BIZARRE STUFF 07/02/10

AIRLINE OFFERING 7 DOLLAR STANDING ROOM TICKETS ONLY

Irish airline, Ryanair, is back in the news again. They were first in the news not too long ago because they started charging airline customers to use the bathroom during flight. They are in the news this time because they are offering standing room only tickets. Yep, you read that correctly. Ryanair plans to introduce “vertical seats” for standing passengers, with tickets costing just $7. Of course safety officials say the plans may be squashed.

Ryanair Chief Executive Michael O’Leary said the plan is to replace the back 10 rows in all of the airline’s 250 planes with standing areas along with a plan to replace the bathrooms with $1.50 pay toilets. A Ryanair spokesman said officials hope to begin safety testing in about a year. However, officials with the European Aviation Safety Agency have said that the airline would struggle to make the plans conform to safety regulations.

“A seat (or berth for a handicapped person) must be provided for each occupant who has reached his or her second birthday,” an EASA spokesman said. “This idea of Ryanair’s is unprecedented and unlikely to be certified in the near future.” – Love the idea of a $7 ticket, but standing for hours? No thanks

REFURBISHED BLACKBERRY CONTAINED X-RATED PHOTOS AND TEXTS OF NFL PLAYER

You may want to think twice before you turn in or swap your cell phone for an upgrade. Perhaps you should wipe the phone clean of any and all personal data before handing it over. Why? Because a banker in New York got more than he bargained for when he received a refurbished BlackBerry as a replacement. The phone contained the secrets of a former NFL player with a sizzlin’ personal life.

The replacement handset provided by Verizon somehow hadn’t been purged of its former owner’s information, and so it contained an X-rated picture of the footballer’s wife, messages from creditors demanding payment, and a trail of correspondences detailing the player’s infidelities. The New York Post has seen the emails but isn’t disclosing the player’s identity.

“If I had all those troubles and a stranger found it on his phone, I’d be very upset,” says the banker with the “new” old phone. But more than that, “what concerns me is all the other confidential, professional information” present on the phone. Verizon says it has strict protocols for wiping all information from refurbished phones and isn’t sure what went wrong. – Well, you know what’s coming next – the former NFL star suing the sh*t out of Verizon!

WELFARE CARDS NO LONGER WELCOME AT STRIP CLUBS IN CALIFORNIA (WHAT?!)

And we wonder why California is bankrupt? Sheesh! CA wefare cards can’t be used at a gas pump but they can be used in casinos and strip clubs. – WTF?!

Since 2007, it’s been possible to cash the checks - meant to feed and clothe needy families - from ATM machines at strip clubs across the state, including such well-known gentlemen’s cabarets as Sam’s Hofbrau, Seventh Veil and Star Strip.

More than $12,000 from the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program was dispensed from the start of 2007 to the end of 2009 at various California strip bars, casinos and state-licensed poker rooms, according to officials at the Department of Social Services. Those businesses even appeared on an official website showing welfare recipients where they can access cash benefits. But now those places are being terminated by the Terminator.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has ordered the department to remove the clubs from the official list of businesses where welfare recipients can withdraw benefits using state-issued ATM cards. He also has ordered officials to produce a plan to reduce “waste, fraud and abuse” in the welfare program

PLANE FORCED BACK TO THE GATE BECAUSE OF MAGGOTS FALLING FROM LUGGAGE BIN

A US Airways flight preparing for takeoff in Atlanta returned to the gate because maggots were falling from an overhead luggage bin.

The airline said Monday’s US Airways flight 1537, which was bound for New York with a stop in Charlotte, was taxiing down the runway when it started raining maggots and returned to the gate so the plane could be cleaned.

US Airways spokesman Todd Lemacher said the maggots were the fault of a passenger who brought spoiled meat onto the flight. He said the passenger with the meat was “re-accommodated on another airline” while the rest of the passengers returned to the plane and continued on to Charlotte. Lemacher said the passengers were moved to a different plane in Charlotte and the aircraft was taken out of service “and will be fumigated as precautionary measure.” – Don’t you just hate it when someone packs rotten meat? Well that and when the schmuck next to you busts out with hard boiled eggs. Nice

BIZARRE STUFF 07/01/10

PHILLY TO BAN WHITE T-SHIRTS IN AN EFFORT TO STOP VIOLENCE

Philadelphia Senator Anthony Williams has decided that there’s an interesting correlation between crime and style, and is cracking down on the city’s issues by addressing the fashion choices of some of Philly’s residents. Yesterday morning, during an announcement from the Mayor, Williams mentioned that extra funds from the city’s budget are going to be devoted to stopping the “white-T culture” in Philadelphia.

Essentially, he feels that by eliminating the ability to derive power from their common look, the Senator believes he’ll effectively decrease the power of street gangs who hang around on the city’s corners in huge white T-shirts. “We’re penetrating the veil of silence,” he said of the decision. “During these tough economic times, we have to set our priorities and be a role model for the country. These children are looking for us to stand up for them, and we have to turn this ‘white-T culture’ in a different direction.”

I hate to say it, but, uh, I don’t think the solution to ending gang violence is as easy as banning white T-shirts. What do you think? Could nixing the white T-shirt culture really help change the crime problems of the city? And what about people who aren’t in gangs who want to wear white T-shirts?

EX-VICE PRESIDENT LOST HIS SIX-FIGURE SALARY JOB, NOW HE’S CARRYING AN “I NEED A JOB” SIGN

“Maybe if you’re standing right out there, you can basically sell them on yourself as far as your background. When you haven’t been unemployed since 1969, it’s culture shock. I never sat back and said I have to make $125,000 a year. I just need a job,” he said.

CELL PHONES TO BLAME FOR DECLINE IN BEE POPULATION

The radiation in cell phones may be responsible for the sudden decline in bee population. Over the past year, the bee population in the U.S. has dropped 30 percent, and other countries have seen similar declines. Bees are important to humans because they produce all of the world’s honey and pollinate 90 percent of the planet’s commercial crops.

Indian scientists think they’ve figured out what is killing the busy little buzzers: cell phones. Researchers from Panjab University attached cell phones to a bee hive and powered them up for 30 minutes a day. After three months, the bees had stopped producing honey, and the queen’s egg production was cut in half.

The reason for this may be because the radiation from the cell phones negatively affects the bees’ cryptochrome, a pigment that controls their internal navigation system. In other words, cell phones scramble the bees ability to find their way back to the hive. - If this is the case, it seems a shame cell phones don’t also have this deadly effect on mosquitoes!

BIZARRE STUFF 06/30/10

NO MORE LOOKING AT PORN AT THE LIBRARY!! OR ELSE

To be honest it’s not even about this “porn shame list.” It’s the fact that you can’t just make legislation and retroactively enforce it like this. It would be like suddenly changing the drinking age to 22 and saying all 21 year olds who drank in the last year will now be arrested. Listen, if you want publically humiliate library porn users moving forward that’s fine, but you can’t go back in time

WOMAN ARRESTED FOR PHOTOSHOPPING BESTIALITY PHOTO OF TEEN IN REVENGE

A Utah woman has been charged with 18 felony counts of sexual exploitation of a minor after Photoshopping the face of a 13-year-old girl onto fliers depicting bestiality and then distributing them at the girl’s school.

Danette Stark, 37, admitted to police that she made about 30 fliers showing a naked female digitally enhanced with the face of the teen in a sex act with a dog to retaliate against the girl for “perceived wrongs” against her.

Stark then planted the fliers, later found by a custodian, in the seventh-grade girl’s bathroom and student lockers at Northwest Middle School in Salt Lake City. The pamphlets also contained the girl’s name and derogatory words. Surveillance tapes showed Stark going into the girl’s bathroom. If convicted, Stark faces 1 to 15 years in prison for the second-degree felony charges and would have to register as a sex offender. - Revenge apparently isn’t always sweet, toots

WOMAN SUED FOR WRITING ABOUT HER NEGATIVE EXPERIENCE ON YELP AND ANGIE’S LIST